What we’re thinking this morning, through the chocolate donut haze: 1. Heidi and Spencer’s split isn’t real. It’s completely staged to keep em in the news. Their reunion will put them right back, at least in the pages of US magazine et al.
2. Whaddya bet Al Gore, in six months so it won’t seem so unseemly, hooks up with some 30-ish Brown University alum, some patchouli-wearing, Earth-hugging, rich family in Connecticut chick. He’ll announce that “her love and commitment to the environment has given my life new meaning,” or some unholy touchy-feely crap. You know it’s coming. Tipper, will join a band or the Peace Corp. and remain nutty. We predict.
See the story about the chick who got fired for her workplace appearance? Discuss. Is fashion sense plus hawtness a problem (not for the Diva, natch) but others? Are the truly fabulous punished by their (leftist) peers for looking too nice on the job? The Diva was once chastised by an Al Gore operative for her campaign trail attire — business suits. “Tone it down a notch, wontcha,” said the piggy Gore flack. “Umm, no bitch. We report and write better when our outfit is slammin. BTW, you need a facial in the WORST way.”
Chin liposuction is entirely tolerable and the scars, once healed, are barely visible. With some Dermablend, you’re golden. Just sayin…..it’s never too late to look smokin’ for those nasty confirmation hearings.
Readers: Oh, we have missed you. With book completed and bad attitude fully engaged, we return to our rotten yet astute corner of cyberspace to dish on all that is dish-worthy.
Let our merry celebu-spew begin.
Aloha, funseekers.
We are good here in America at pooling our resources to help folks out. What if one of our jabbering celebrity “environmentalists” hosted a Tinseltown telethon to raise money for beach, wetland, wildlife clean-up? Cause you know BP is soon gonna cry poor — right after the feds sue em. Which will come any day now with Americans boycotting all the BP ventures as soon as the beaches are fouled.
George Clooney, Ed Begley Jr., Alicia Silverstone? One of y’all Prius-driving, vegan-loving Hollywood types needs to step it up as this disaster is certain to worsen.
We feel supersad for the pelicans, fishies and fishermen.
The diva’s glamorous summer of world travel continues. She’s also finishing a book. Her column will resume later. In the meantime, shop til you drop and world peace, y’all.
Shawn Johnson was not the best dancer. Why folks voted for her, we don’t know. Giles was the best. He was. And he was cuter.
Chris was a sweet boy singer. Aw shucks. But Adam Lambert is a star, talented with an obvious wow factor. We actually think his solid frontrunner status worked against him. Sigh.
America did NOT get it right this time. They picked the nice guy who no chance of a big career. But Adam will likely be the new lead singer for Queen or somesuch. And he’ll be rich like Clay.
Sigh, again.
Is it just us or have Melissa Rycroft’s abs gotten better and better as Dancing with the Stars continues?
Man, she has the best bod. Athletic, lean, but also sexy-cute. She’s had a really amazing attitude, too.
What pluck! We admire how she’s handled her newfound celebrity after getting dumped by psycho-boy. She must be super-glad she dodged that bullet.
Anna Wintour — you know who she is, she doesn’t need an introduction — is gonna be on “60 Minutes” Sunday night.
Better tune in, angels. She’s not exactly media friendly. We may not hear from her again before she dies/leaves Vogue.
TTFN
“Do something righteous with your life.” ~Tupac
If u wanna do it in great shoes, all the better. — Diva
“I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”-Coco Chanel
“We were all born originals so why die a copy?” – Dianna Gadberry
That odd little bug Annie Duke was a good player. We’ll give her credit. But she seemed awfully manipulative. Yes, Joan was a drama queen. But she’s an entertainer — HELLO.
Annie lost because she wasn’t nice. And because the court of public opinion went with Joan.
(We must say that her daughter seems to be on an awful plastic surgery jag. She looks nearly as surreal as Joan does with all that work at 75.)
All we’re sayin….
A strange cadre of celebs this go round, too.
You know you are thinking it. She’s staved it off for about as long as she can. But there isn’t really a brand of concealer that is going to fix it up now. Time for a wee cleanup with the plastic man.
Dontcha think?
What you should know is that no woman in America believes your current story about the affair and the paternity of that child.
Your wife deserved much better. We hope she leaves you.
And we urge you to TELL THE TRUTH. Your nose is gonna fall off soon if you carry on with this obviously tall tale.
AS IF.
Is there any reason to talk about issues with your relationship with Sheryl Crow and her biological clock ticking — other than to sell books?
Dude, you sold her out. This wasn’t the world’s business and yet you made it so for personal gain. Now you’ve managed to knock up someone else and THAT seems OK. We don’t like you very much at all.
Shame, shame, bicycle boy.
Yeah, we know you love him on “24.” But what you probably don’t consider his personal life.
Hasn’t been easy. Kindly, he’s an elegant imbiber. Twice in jai on the DUI. Needs to be more careful.
We can imagine he was a bit tipsy when he decided to ride in on the white TV star stallion and headbut one of our country’s most fab emerging designers.
Headbutt? In public?
Who does that shit? We bet he gets sent back to jail for violating his probation.
Likely his character Jack would not approve of this conduct. He’s a cute oddball, no?
We are starting to warm significantly to the collections of Stella McCartney. At first, not so much. Now, it seems her stuff is softening to a nice femininization. Is that a word? Doesn’t matter. You get our drift. Her clothes are prettier and that makes us ever so happy.
We don’t love the price point, but we are paying much more attention.
Carry on, angels.
Did anyone catch Paula Abdul performing her new song on “American Idol”? Probably a bad idea, no?
Song was insipid, the dancing was tired, and well, we were embarrassed for her. Her moves were lamer than Britney Spears. And that tutu outfit. What was she thinkin?
Seriously, we loved a lot of her stuff when she was younger and we think she can be sweet to the contestants on the show. But she should leave the performances to choreography. Because we’ve seen better dancing on those other dance competition shows and we’ve heard far better singing from teens on Idol.
Sigh. Don’t call it a comeback. Call it a career-ender, unless you count another season of the show.
Ya know, the Diva would like to be suitably outraged over Michelle Obama’s wearing of $540 Lanvin suede sneakers during a public appearance at a food bank. But ya know, they are SO cute, we just can’t muster the proletarian angst. They have pink metallic toe caps. Grosgrain ribbon laces.
In a word: adorable.
It is so fun to dress casual but upscale. We are still madly in love with our black patent Dr. Scholls-style Chanel sandals. Super fussy but also quite practical. We’re sure the First Wife would approve.