So, we aren’t a huge fan, but there is nothing like a prez who works the pop culture references.

But yep, there was President Obammy lauding the value of small business and mentioning Cheese Whiz in reference to the cheese steak sandwich. Dude, do ya think perhaps he and the missus secretly spray on the Whiz upstairs in the presidential quarters whilst they are snacking?

Man of the people. We bet it’s so. Cool.

It’s just a bad addition to her ongoing image problem. Sure, her attorney made the charges go away, but the news of her fighting with Sam and now this public gaffe, whether a legal mess-up or not, will not improve her respectability in her industry.

The diva’s yummy manpal said and we quote: “She looks like Mama Cass. What a chubette? Didn’t someone tell her ‘hey, you’re getting fat!.’”

Dress too tight, thighs Oprah-esque. Such a distraction, but not enough for the bad music, tho. Or rephrasing: the very average music.

Said the manpal: “Did you see her scary fat lady stance? It’s like Miss Piggy. What do you think happened to her?”

VERY SAD. VERY SAD. All folks will be talking about as she tries to launch some new stuff.

Seriously… a laptop from the federal pen. Some liquid assets and a Wall Street trustee. Perhaps some of the poor, duped folks who lost everything might get a few pennies back. Forced to work using his stash — and ya know he’s gone some cash flow hidden out there — to invest and use to help his victims.

Justice would be better served, kinda, sorta.

All we’re sayin….

Honey, they have medication for all of that. Seriously, they do. You need a good barber and a therapist. And some psycho-pharms.

“Academy-Award nominee to whack job” is not a good look. Kanye West is a rapper. You… seem nearly insane and/or managing the greatest media stunt since Punk’d went off the air.

NO HE DID-UNT!

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon called the greatest country in the world, the United States of America, a “deadbeat” donor to his loser organization.

Of course we don’t support you pussies. HELLO!!!!! You don’t do dick. You’re whiners, time-wasters, so lacking in any authority why should we take your seriously. 

To wit: SUCK IT, Moon face. SUCK IT.

The Diva is nothing if not a diplomat. Globalize this!

We hate big government. Let us say that upfront. But if we need some money as a nation, we think cigarettes and alcohol should be heavily taxed. It could cut our deficit, fund programs, save lives and well, a whole lot of other complicated crap that the diva doesn’t want to get into.

Seriously, we’re in dire straights. And yeah, maybe this is a state’s issue, but still. Lotta money could be raised.

Moreover — legalize pot and tax it heavily, too. Solve some problems, keep folks out of crowded jails, save money, etc…

We are no legislator and we loves our white burgundy, but but but…..you understand.

It’s a good idea.

You probably saw it and thought the same thing. But the Diva is gonna tell you in plain language.

Kelly Clarkson, the fabulous American Idol champ, is a fatty. She looked rough and 10 years older than her real age. And just bloated. By our divalicious calculations, at this rate, she will look like the lead singer from Heart in about five years.

It is a darned shame that she has let herself go. She has the voice, but she sounded terrible, hardly like a champion as she headlined the Idol telecast Wednesday night. She looked like a lounge act in a college town, not like a recording star.

C’mon Kelly. Surely you aren’t happy with this look? We’re all for a healthy body image, but there is a difference between sloppy and hearty. You look sloppy — and you sounded sloppy, too.

We urge you to rethink your public image. You’re a mega-talented girl who needs a hit and a gym.

We think it’s shaping up to be a terrific season. The show still has legs and we like the new little twists and turns. 

Tough to sing the Michael Jackson catalogue, no?  That’s a big vocal challenge and yet some did magnificently.

Who is your fave? We like the Michigan dude a lot.

Let us do the current math: Lindsay Lohan, who was well on her way to becoming an A-list movie star about 3 years ago, is hawking a self-tan product, even appearing in the ads. But mainly, she is flying all over the country to nightclubs where her incessant fights with her girlfriend Sam Ronson are captured by TMZ.

What a sad downfall. Is there no one in her world who can shake her loose to face the truth? And moreso, is her 15 minutes pretty much up, despite her considerable acting talent, now eclipsed by her ravaged personal life.

Oh, wait. We typed this same paragraph last year. Guess we answered our own diva question.

Sigh……….

Didya see the new “Dancing with the Stars?” We think Lil’ Kim’s ass should be worshipped as a national treasure. HELLO, booty-licious times 200!!!! Far better than Beyonce or even that hiney-endowed Kim Kardashian.

Our Kim looked gorgeous, fit, thin and very competitive, we might add. We super dug it that she dedicated her performance to her former galpals in the federal penitentiary. Such street cred and such a sweetheart to remember the cons back at her old joint!

We thought so many of these contestants were fascinating. And everyone looks skinnier. Lacey Schwimmer has slimmed down and so has Cheryl Burke, who let’s face it, is all thighs. Just like us, sadly. Sometimes God adds a little here and there and you just gotta accept it. Rather curvy than bony-assed, right sistas?

We will totally be watching this season. SO much to love!

PS: The naked dude from the “Sex in the City” movie, Gilles Marini, a Frenchman no less, is dancing and he is SMOKIN’ hot for an amateur. We totally like his chances. Playboy model and former Hefner slampiece Holly Madison — isn’t so coordinated, although she is way pretty.

We are sad to learn this morning that Paul Harvey has died. His news and unusual vocal patterns were a comfort as we drove across this great nation — on many handbag shopping trips.

He was what was good about America, bringing to light the stories of the unsung, the unheralded, the little girls and guys. In doing so, he made us feel good about us.

We will miss him ever so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…..we know how unpopular it is to talk against the lefty administration, but listen up. Rush Limbaugh was right today. He was powerful and candid and he IS the leader the GOP needs. 

Not a coward or a weasel. He needs to run for senator from Florida and then consider something more. Seriously. Re-read what Rush said. Cause someone needed to say it and folks need to listen.

We love exclamation points. We won’t be stopping our use of them anytime soon so get used to it bitches. 

That said, a new Celebrity Apprentice looms and we could not be more excited. Joan Rivers. A force to be reckoned with. Need we say more. The only disappointment is that Omarosa is not on this one and we think she adds a certain evil dynamic that makes this show rock.

Those two are apparently back together, doing the make-up at Diddy’s house in SOBE. We have been there and it is a nice place, but back to the point. Knowing what we know about domestic violence, she stands in line to get hit again if they don’t get some help. 

Men who batter — let’s just say this isn’t a one-time occurrence. And so we hope Chris Brown recognizes he has power and control issues and we hope she understands that violence isn’t dismissible. It’s an enormous problem. We know they are young, but we worry.

We hope those around them guide them to more understanding if they continue on as a couple.

We think it was the PEOPLE cover this time that kicked us over the top. Sure, she belonged on Vogue because of her influence on fashion during the election cycle — and because it was politically correct and business-savvy to do it. But now we’ve hit the wall. 

Boring, her family routines, the new dog. These are the details that keep suburbanite moms happy but probably not the diva. We need more meat with our sausage or some such.

In other news….

Britney is almost ready to go back on tour and we can’t help but cheer her on, even if we suspect that she will look, act and sound the same as she has over the past several years. This will be big bump and grind, her half naked, lip-syncing, etc… Sigh. What else can she do?

Lindsay Lohan seems to truly be in trouble again. If she has a career left, we are Nixon.

We’d like a Giselle and Tom wedding photo please. Throw us a bone. We just wanna see the dress. Private….like whatever. Snooze.

All in all, the hottest TV journos are on Fox News. We think that Megyn Kelly chick has serious stones. Big balls for a Barbie girl. We kinda dig how she goes all a.m. pitbull on folks. She rarely lets people slide with some dopey answer.

It’s almost March. That could mean spring. And not a moment too soon!

Any paper that gets rid of Liz Smith blows the big one. And we don’t be reading it any more.

You people and your shady disloyalty SUCK.

The diva is PISSED.

So, whaddya think of the Academy Awards and fashion. We were let down in a huge way. Not so much that there were tons of foibles, because few made big mistakes. But no one totally knocked our socks off. Perhaps this is reflective of the dicey economy or something….

One person who is getting little acclaim is Alicia Keys. Didn’t that pink dress look nice with her very glam hair and makeup? We thought so. She looked very old Hollywood but in an understated way, which seems in stark contrast to her performance attire.

We also loved the dress on Anne Hathaway. Perhaps the color was a little too white against her fair skin, but all in all, it really photographed and looked Oscar-worthy.

Marissa Tomei also looked great in that confection of a dress, but we felt her hair was a bit of a distraction. We did like Kate Winslett’s unexpected black and gray dress but not her Grace Kelly hair, which aged her. Penelope Cruz also had a wonderful ballgown, but we aren’t jazzed by her too-short bangs.

Jessica Biel — an unfortunate hair, big dress combo. Amy Adams, same deal. She looked too old when she usually looks fresh.

At least Robert Downey Jr.’s facial fillers and Botox seemed to be working effortlessly. He looked totally refreshed.

Oh, and Angelina in black with those emerald earrings was divine. Jen Aniston, not so memorable. We could have done without the girly braid in her hair although she did seem happy.

Happy is good.

More later…

Hello, funseekers. The Diva has been away, traveling to Fashion Week before heading off to Los Angeles where we are personally counseling Chris Brown, who says he’s a lover not a fighter.

  He’s only 19 remember, but hitting women is a bad way to roll. We have him in our own special therapy, tho. It involves pliers and certain body parts. We can be bad when the lesson is important. To wit: Don’t mess with a sistah.

That said, we are back to offer our Oscar picks. We will be hosting our very own exclusive party at an ultrasecret location. The princessposse has been alerted. Don’t crash. We have bodyguards and they enjoy steroids and the er, personality traits that come with the human pitbull lifestyle. Seriously….. it’s a hot ticket. (Keep reading here for all the deets…)

  That said, here goes on our predictions, with who will win and who we want to win.

Best supporting actor

Will win: Heath Ledger

We wish would win: Heath Ledger

Best supporting actress

Will win: Penelope Cruz

We wish would win: Marisa Tomei (you do a credible stripper at her age and get back to us. Wowza)

Best actor

Will win: (that horrible) Sean Penn

We wish would win: Our delicious Mickey Rourke (so sorry about the pooch, dude.)

Best actress

Will win: Kate Winslett

We wish would win: Anne Hathaway

Best director

Will win: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

We wish would win: Darren Aronofsky (such a risktaker!!!)

Best picture

Will win: Slumdog Millionaire

We wish would win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Song: We are pissed that Bruce Springsteen wasn’t nominated but a bunch of other dumb songs were so we aren’t voting.

More fashion commentary to follow. We can hardly wait for the glare and glam.

Wow, the fairly dismal Grammy show was upstaged by news of the Rihanna-Chris Brown fight, which now seems totally smackdown.

We give the Grammy’s a Grade C-minus and allow that perhaps the classiest and most inspired performance came from country star Kenny Chesney. Funny how pretty and lovely he can be when doing something simple — singing a well-written and adult song. No tiki huts and sandals, just beautiful music sung with dignity and poise. The night’s gentleman, hands down.

That said: we don’t hit women. There isn’t an excuse in the world that makes up for that. Yell, scream, punch the wall, but better, walk away. Chris Brown, if indeed he is guilty, has severely damaged a fire-hot musical career. If ever a kid, and he’s only 19 people, needs a public relations guru and a big-ass lawyer, it’s him.

Rihanna either steps up and speaks out or she stays quiet and forces him to deal with this behavior like a man. 

Let this be a warning to us all: domestic violence happens to good people, not just skanks and white trash, as the movies and TV might make us think. It happens in rich homes and apparently, among the famous. If you see it happening or know it’s going on, get involved. Help that person get help.

Chris Brown needs to publicly acknowledge his conduct and apologize. NOW. Before fickle Hollywood kicks him to the curb.

We don’t hit women. No even thug rappers get a pass on this. Word.