What happened to their son was a real tragedy. We sure are sad for their loss.

If we had an office — and we don’t — we’d like to start a pool, betting on how many days it’ll take for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson to split. Their rough week in Miami is a harbinger of things to come.

Are drugs and booze involved? Check out the “Scene in the Tropics” column in the Miami Herald for a tip.

Very sad stuff. That Lindsay is pin thin — and she hasn’t done a movie in how long? It’s not looking good for her future. 

We think she’ll be back on the boys — tee — before we know it.

1. We’re not sure how you get to be governor of any state — even some creepy backwater one and not Illinois — and have the kind of cartoon hairdo that Blagojevich is sporting. It looks like either he’s channelling Beaver Cleaver or some sort of small rodent curled up and rotated on his head.

2. Candidly, we like throwing around the word “dick,” especially to describe people who act up. We also like that Kathy Griffin. She’s a terrific comic foil for that tight-assed blue-blood Anderson Cooper (and we honestly like him, too). Frequently we’ve been known to mutter: “What a freakin’ dickhead!” We mean it emphatically more than being vulgar. Say it with us: “What a dick!” Doesn’t it apply to a lot of people you know? Well, sure it does. We think people on national television, particularly on NYE, can forgive her the rowdy banter. Have ya seen her stand-up? Those CNN execs are idiots if they haven’t seen how she works. LOVE IT.

1. Buy those Louboutin’s that have been calling our name — and feel no fiscal shame.

2. Contact people who bug us and tell them, specifically, why. Smash the haters.

3. Buy more dance music so our mobile disco can be uber-festive, like a rolling gay bar. Sublime.

4. Kiss a lot more

5. Invest in exotic cheese

6. Get a retread on the tits; vacuum our upper arms

7. Buy a child — that looks like us — online; or just steal one from Walmart (from one of those haggard families who just have too many)

8. Don’t do things we don’t like; just say no (thank-you)

9. Order nicer candles, underwear, towels and make-up

10. Call up people we haven’t seen in years and say, “Bitches: Whassup?”  Or just call em.

So, she’s not a genius public speaker. So, she needs media training. And wait, so she really hasn’t contributed much to state and local politics, but hey… she’s a Kennedy and she has that going for her. Perfect for the U.S. Senate? 

Maybe not so much.

Sure it’ll be a colossal letdown, perhaps moreso for history, but New York Guv David Patterson probably ought to think about someone else, if he isn’t already, as his choice to fill the Hillary seat in Congress.

We are super-disturbed, not only because she is dreadfully inarticulate and fails to convey ANY reasonable message that would suggest she’s a good choice, but also by that weird, center-side part.

C’mon, don’t pretend that it isn’t bugging you. It looks like a road leading to some mountain holler.  Who parts their hair like that intentionally? We mean, really!!!!! And you know she’s got an assload of money to hire someone who knows their way around a comb.

All we’re sayin…

She’s a very odd woman, not terribly likeable, not terribly gracious, not terribly anything except maybe…entitled.

Eartha Kitt has died. She was one mysterious chick, a true icon of film, movies, music and all things vixen.

We shall miss her. She was a true original — something we all strive to be.

The Diva has been bogged down with family trauma and regrets being out of touch. But she sends mad Christmas love to you all with wishes for a fab 2009.

This little diddy has sparked serious debate! Check out celeb columnist extraordinaire Lesley Abravanel’s column in the Miami Herald. Leslie’s question about this controversial candidacy has drawn plenty of response.

Is Caroline just a distant political celebrity or could she be qualified? Or, does she have fame but little experience for such an important job?

We grew up with an angry-ass sister. Who threw a lot of things, including a steak knife at our mother when she was 9. It stuck in a door and she was uninjured. Still, it takes a lot of hate to heave something deadly, even at folks to whom you are related.

That said, a lot of our galpals have come plumb out of the woodwork today to opine on the Iraqi journo who got pissed enough to hurl a shoe at President Bush. The bad news: you don’t get away with throwing anything at the leader of the free world. Even one that is preparing to exit stage left. So dude is probably locked up in the camel jail for a very long time.

Even our thoughtful and sensitive boypals have weighed in, given the sensitive nature of shoe detante.

“Remember, strappy high heels don’t kill people. People kill people,” types one our total favorites.

Can we get that on a bumper sticker or perhaps a nice t-shirt?

So true, so true.

At least these were loafers, so there wasn’t really a killer stiletto involved. Smelly, cheap Third-Worlder journo loafers, no doubt. 

Cause if he were tossing the Gucci’s or Ferragamo’s, we’d be super more interested. Mainly about the quality of the footwear, less about the international stir.

Still, it did make good video, cultural sensitivities be damned.

The new special holiday Barbie for 2008 looks exactly like a drag queen we used to adore. Seriously. Something about the face that said all man, nice lady……ya know.

A bunch of the tree top angels at Target look strangely pregnant, about 8 months along by my estimation. Perhaps too much crinoline in the angel skirt?

Barbie has a private jet, that bitch! It’s pink, too. WTF. We’ve been needing this for some time now. Oy, she gets all the good stuff.

Americans are fat. Just stores full of fatty suburbanites with their whiny kids. We’ve become a toady, ugly culture. We should eat less because the economy is bad. Really, we should.

We don’t understand why anyone purchases those $5 tins of popcorn. How stale must it be? And who would interpret this as a gift. Oddness.

We attacked the dudes in the Christmas tree department so harshly (after three trips and zero luck in getting new stock) that they finally acquiesced and sold us the floor model white tree we’d been jonesing for.  It is delightful.

We were watching a football game these weekend and decided that that Tim Tebow, the Florida Gators quarterback, is an exemplary young man and cute too. So is his roommate, who has a lot of sexy long hair. Yummy. Yummy. Yummy.

Fred Klaus is not a good movie, even with Vince Vaughn. But Four Christmases is funny, in that goofy, ridiculous way. We recommend. Not a cinematic triumph, but you will laugh out loud.

Because we love you all and because you are too busy (or, yes, ahem… lack the taste to work it out on your own, tee), we present 10 things you might wanna buy someone on your list cause they’re cool. In no certain order or price point, we might add.

1. Any Crane’s stationary product. Something personalized, embossed, monogrammed would be best, but you can’t go wrong in the paper and taste department with this. Everyone needs a handy note card, thank you or somesuch. We keep a stash on hand for nearly every occasion. Such a delightful hostess gift, too, with designs befitting a whole lot of interests.  www.crane.com

2. Cheaper than an iPod and in great colors: Sandisk Sansa Fuze, from $80 to $130. www.sandisk.com

3. A yummy, cotton-candyesque cable-knit sweater that’s totally affordable and dare we say pretty. From Victoria’s Secret, item No. AS-231-966, $78. www.vistoriassecret.com 

4. A Lanz flannel nightgown. Sure it’s old-school and not very sexy, but it’s also delightful and girlie on a cold winter’s night. www.vermontcountrystore.com (This is a great catalogue, BTW).

5. Penguins are in and here’s a big stuffed one that would delight kids and anyone else you loves ‘em. Item No. 708167 www.hearthsong.com

6. Prada Small Safiano Leather Tote, the parfait purse and in such a magnificent teal/turquoise shade. On sale at www.overstock.com  $829. Pricey but glam. Bonus tip: Who wouldn’t LOVE an overstock.com gift card? You can get GREAT stuff here and just about anything.

7. From Smith and Hawken, the uber-tasteful gardening and home supplies catalogue: Sussex Terra Cotta cherubs. Gorgeous little angels for your lawn or home altar, in gazing or reclining from $24-$49. www.smithandhawken.com

8. If you love food, cooking and people who love both, buy this great book by a really amazing photographer we know, Melanie Dunea, who has shot celebs all over the globe: “My Last Supper: 50 Great Chefs and Their Final Meals / Portraits, Interviews, and Recipes.” www.amazon.com. Bonus track: our fave portrait of punk rock chef Anthony Bourdain — our dream man — which we just might have to frame.

9. For the beer-lover, aging frat boy, party dude in your home: Krups Heineken BeerTender, a kitchentop keg dispender that taps an icy brew from a mini-keg. On sale for $279.99 at macys.com

10. A couple of things we love, randomly: the gold and silver passport covers from Abas Leather at www.neimanmarcus.com  $40. Very affordable and chic for the traveler n u. Also, at NM but at a higher price point — lovely indeed: the Michael Aram “Three Hearts Bowl” for $265.

More to come, people…. we shop because we love.

Now that Hillary is our new secretary of state — we think she’s totally mean enough to go after the global nasties — we wonder if her attention-loving hubbie might be the pick to take over her New York senate seat. 

We think it’d be a great choice. Who better to bring it home for NY than Dirty Bill? Loads of cache in Washington, too. We are rooting for him — finally a way back and he’s already got a house to live in there.

That didn’t take long, right? The Chicago cops finally popped ‘Fro Boy’ in the murders of actress Jennifer Hudson’s mom, brother and nephew. About time. We were beginning to wonder if this was ever going to happen. Such a sad, sad story.

Happy Holidays, divas. Crazy this abbreviated Christmas barreling down like a jet with no brakes. We have purchased nearly nothing. Oy, we are already behind. We do have pink wrapping paper, tho. And a pink Christmas tree. We are, after all, us.

The shopping deals are insane cause everyone lost their money in the market downturn. Even the Donald is having a bit of an economic down-swing. Like him, we plan to bounce back. Until then, we are trying hard to be frugal and we bought mascara at the drugstore. SCARY AS HELL. AS IF. We’ll never do that again, although we did score a smoking proletariat lip pencil in red. LOVING IT. FESTIVE! And like, $2. Who knew?

We tried hard but managed to eat too much for Turkey Day. Our fave sugarlicious item: a Coca-Cola cake. So rich and chocolate. It was the best cake we ever ate. EVER. The South really knows how to bake, that’s for sure. We’ll post the recipe for those of you who want fat butt like us. We’ll be in the gym twice as long over this. But this cake is worth it. YUMMMMMMMMM…………

In other news: Like we promised, A-Rod made a beeline to Madge’s house in in Miami, just days after word came that her pre-divorce was final in the UK. Wonder how long it’ll take before they are photographed out together. At least A-Rod would be her cutest boyfriend, no? Her others have been letdowns in the looks department. She likes em odd.

Speaking of: Sean Penn is insanely good in “Milk.” Ya gotta see this flick. Even tho we hate his political crap, he is genius in this new movie.

Changing gears: If we don’t get those spiky pink suede Louboutins we are craving for Christmas, we’ll be supersad. They are so pretty, they look like cotton candy and make us want to lick them. Sorta.

In other news: Rosie O’Donnell’s variety show tanked. We are not surprised. We like her but she’s been so all over the map emotionally, it’s hard for her to resonate with a lot of credibility in a show. Weirdness.

Did Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan split this past week? Signs point to yes. We figured this would eventually happen, but… stay tuned.

Britney took her act to Europe to mixed reviews. It’s hard for us to believe that she’s back doing the lip-syncing and dancing thing just like she used to do. And yet, what else could she do? It just feels so dated. We want her to succeed, but we suspect her new act will not pack much punch if she tries to tour in the U.S.

That “Australia” flick is tanking, no? A big, epic with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman and it’s getting beat by the Vince Vaughn/Reese Witherspoon dummy comedy. We’ll see it, natch. But we are SO waiting on “Confessions of a Shop-a-Holic.”

Up later, our suggested holiday shopping list.

The Diva is up to her tight hiney in pumpkin pie and thus, has been unavailable for gossip.

She will return soon. Until then…..dish, dish, dish….amongst yourselves…..

And have a pleasant holiday.

All the galpals are abuzz at the arrogance of the Big 3 U.S. automaker CEOs as they testified before Congress.

While they could have traveled to Washington in one of their energy-efficient, tech-savvy cars, which they are touting as the wave of future autos in America, all of them flew on corporate jets.  And then they had the audacity to say they wouldn’t be willing to give up the jets, even though they were there begging for money to stay afloat.

“Off with their heads,” says galpal Court. And we have to agree. They should agree to $250,000 salaries until their companies are solvent and all the government money they asked for is paid back with interest — and the union crap like job banks is dissolved forever — cause that’s how they got there.

Oh, but wait……there’s more.

Today “GM announced that it’s terminating leases on two of its five private jets ‘to cut costs’.”

Screw em. No money. It’s that kind of idiot bad judgment and fiscal irresponsibility that says they should get nothing from the feds. PATHETIC.

Joy “Menopause has dried up my brain” Behar cracked on the home-schooled kids on “The View,” saying some of them are mentally deranged.

Is she on crack? Because last time we checked, homeschooled kids were outpacing publicly educated students by leaps and bounds. And ya know, the one’s we’ve met are not only nice, moral and decent, but they tend to know a thing or two about the constitution. And they do well in college. And some come from families who might (GASP) love God and think that is important in their children’s lives. There ya go. We said it. That’s probably what is objectionable to her. AS IF.

She needs to educate herself (on a lot of things) instead of flapping her jowled trap like some leftist in need of psycho-pharmaceuticals. We’d love to see her take a test on U.S. history against a couple of homeschoolers. THAT would be fabulously good TV.

Ya know, we are supersad to see that Paris and Benji have split. Crimony, we thought they were headed to the altar. Could it be that she just outgrew his niceness. Seriously. We thought he was decent — probably too much so for her tastes.

Still, he legitimized her as a loving person and not some club-hopping, talentless bimbo. We thought they were mismatched on a lot of levels but also an opposites-attract kind of couple, which often works.

We were cheering for this couple We really were. We hope they reconcile because, well, we’d like to see them settle down and show folks that a showbiz coupling can work.

The “Change We Can Believe In” camp is starting to seem like the Clinton years 2.O. Tom Daschle? Nice guy, we suppose, but he ain’t new or innovative or anything we’d expect from the Obama folks who campaigned on business NOT as usual.

C’mon people. New blood, innovation. This is not a time to sink into the mediocre abyss of the past. Pick folks that are talented, interesting and outside the box, not party insiders. Otherwise, you just look so lame and like another politician who can’t live up to his rhetoric.

Thus far, your cabinet seems hugely underwhelming. BE ORIGINAL. CHOOSE WISELY, OBE WON. Safe is the new loser.

We hear that Obammy is up with another original idea, grabbing another Clinton era relec to be his new attorney general. If change has come to America, it looks…..rather than same. We figured the gassy rhetoric was just that.

As for Holder, the facial hair is not working on him at all. He’s like a fake Steadman Graham. If he is selected and confirmed, then we recommend a power shave. Otherwise, he’s like the black John Holmes and we’re gonna have to keep callling him Supa-Fly, as we did during the Clinton years.