Jan
31

Winona looked pretty — shut up!

By the Diva

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We have missed Winona Ryder. Like many Americans, we love stories of redemption, so seeing her on the red carpet at Sunday night’s SAG Awards was a terrific surprise. She’s been out of star orbit it seems and unlike many of the haters, we are cheering for her return to fine form — the past be damned. Robert Downey Jr. came back, right? So high hopes for Winona.

We also like her princess-chic cream dress. Yes, it was billowy. Yes, some fashion-types dubbed it prom wear. But was thought it soft and romantical — taking the edge off a girl who needs some smoothing. There were lots of gaffes, some folks who were near unrecognizable. And more folks who simply played it safe. But we thought Winona was fabulous. So Diva snaps for her — and hoping that she’s back on track soonest.

As you all know by now, “Heathers” is one of the Diva’s all-time fave films. If you’ve seen it, you will totally understand why. Instinctively.

TTFN

Mar
11

The laughingstock that is Lindsay

By the Diva

Let us do the current math: Lindsay Lohan, who was well on her way to becoming an A-list movie star about 3 years ago, is hawking a self-tan product, even appearing in the ads. But mainly, she is flying all over the country to nightclubs where her incessant fights with her girlfriend Sam Ronson are captured by TMZ.

What a sad downfall. Is there no one in her world who can shake her loose to face the truth? And moreso, is her 15 minutes pretty much up, despite her considerable acting talent, now eclipsed by her ravaged personal life.

Oh, wait. We typed this same paragraph last year. Guess we answered our own diva question.

Sigh……….

Mar
10

Lil’ Kim — a national treasure

By the Diva

Didya see the new “Dancing with the Stars?” We think Lil’ Kim’s ass should be worshipped as a national treasure. HELLO, booty-licious times 200!!!! Far better than Beyonce or even that hiney-endowed Kim Kardashian.

Our Kim looked gorgeous, fit, thin and very competitive, we might add. We super dug it that she dedicated her performance to her former galpals in the federal penitentiary. Such street cred and such a sweetheart to remember the cons back at her old joint!

We thought so many of these contestants were fascinating. And everyone looks skinnier. Lacey Schwimmer has slimmed down and so has Cheryl Burke, who let’s face it, is all thighs. Just like us, sadly. Sometimes God adds a little here and there and you just gotta accept it. Rather curvy than bony-assed, right sistas?

We will totally be watching this season. SO much to love!

PS: The naked dude from the “Sex in the City” movie, Gilles Marini, a Frenchman no less, is dancing and he is SMOKIN’ hot for an amateur. We totally like his chances. Playboy model and former Hefner slampiece Holly Madison — isn’t so coordinated, although she is way pretty.

Feb
20

Our Academy Awards prediction column — oh boy, our fave TV night of the year!!!!

By the Diva

Hello, funseekers. The Diva has been away, traveling to Fashion Week before heading off to Los Angeles where we are personally counseling Chris Brown, who says he’s a lover not a fighter.

  He’s only 19 remember, but hitting women is a bad way to roll. We have him in our own special therapy, tho. It involves pliers and certain body parts. We can be bad when the lesson is important. To wit: Don’t mess with a sistah.

That said, we are back to offer our Oscar picks. We will be hosting our very own exclusive party at an ultrasecret location. The princessposse has been alerted. Don’t crash. We have bodyguards and they enjoy steroids and the er, personality traits that come with the human pitbull lifestyle. Seriously….. it’s a hot ticket. (Keep reading here for all the deets…)

  That said, here goes on our predictions, with who will win and who we want to win.

 

Best supporting actor

Will win: Heath Ledger

We wish would win: Heath Ledger

 

Best supporting actress

Will win: Penelope Cruz

We wish would win: Marisa Tomei (you do a credible stripper at her age and get back to us. Wowza)

 

 

Best actor

Will win: (that horrible) Sean Penn

We wish would win: Our delicious Mickey Rourke (so sorry about the pooch, dude.)

 

Best actress

Will win: Kate Winslett

We wish would win: Anne Hathaway

 

Best director

Will win: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

We wish would win: Darren Aronofsky (such a risktaker!!!)

 

Best picture

Will win: Slumdog Millionaire

We wish would win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

 

Song: We are pissed that Bruce Springsteen wasn’t nominated but a bunch of other dumb songs were so we aren’t voting.

 

More fashion commentary to follow. We can hardly wait for the glare and glam.

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