Nov
11

Bi-Lo, “colored” — we are getting confused

By the Diva

So, she’s not a lesbian, she could be bi, she doesn’t know if she’ll end up marrying a chick or a dude. It must be tough to be in love with Lindsay Lohan and her, er….lack of clarity. In her past, she’s seemed awfully clear before, ahem…. WAY CLEAR. And then goes and calls a black person “colored.”  Is any of this ok? And is she pissing away her career, or at least what is left of it?  What we fear is poor Samantha Ronson is gonna get her heart broken, and she seems to be really nice and supportive, too. Linds says she loves Sam. But she didn’t say “in love.” We worry.

Speaking of out of the limelight, what has happened to Hillary Duff and Mischa Barton? All but disappeared. Speaking of….. Marie Osmond is keeping the weight off nicely after “Dancing With the Stars.” Perhaps it’s for the diet commercials, but still. She looks good.

One of our galpals went to a Madonna concert and came back to report that our queen was turning into Cher. AS IF. Perhaps Madge is getting a tad too old for the camp. She looks good, but is it authentic. We were super letdown that Justin and Britney didn’t perform together at her show. We’d love to see these two rekindle it, even if it was only on stage.

We were RIGHT. Mrs. Obama’s dress at the White House was Maria Pinto.

“Confessions of a Shop-a-holic,” coming soon to a theater near you. We cannot stand it. This is nearly biographical. Speaking of movies, we love Reese Witherspoon, but the new flick she’s in with Vince Vaughn is kind of a splurge for a girl who can really act, no? Vince always plays himself, it seems. Every role, he’s Vince Vaughn. Funny, tho. We think he’s great, but a one-note actor.

We’re superglad Jennifer Aniston is speaking out about Angie and Brad. She needs to tell the truth. We think she wasn’t treated right at all and we’re still pissed. We’d like her to spill it all — we bet Brad wouldn’t emerge as the do-gooder folks think he is now.

Oct
28

Dear Chicago: Someone needs to stop the violence

By the Diva

We have a serious celebrity love jones for Daniel Craig, who now plays James Bond. He’s oddly attractive and not so conventional. We always dig the weird ones best.

Apparently the suspect in the Jennifer Hudson family murders is a member of the famed Gangster Disciples street gang. While some claim gang activity in Chicago is not out of hand, it would appear otherwise. Someone needs to take control of that city and stop the violence. Seriously.

We hear a coterie of celebs are going to turn out for Hudson’s family memorial services. We hope they show her love and support. She’s gonna need it after this tragedy.

Finally, Cloris Leachman, bless her heart, is off of Dancing With the Stars. We suppose viewers grew tired of the gimmick. She was funny but this is a dance show. Susan Lucci, altho lovely, looks too wooden. We think she’s the next to go. We think Lance Bass seems to likeable and his partner a real champion of dancing — she always performs 110 percent.

Those housewives in Atlanta are despicable. We haven’t seen anyone so self-absorbed since like high school. They are pathetic and spoiled and dreadful.

Jeremy Piven is once again turning this season of HBO’s Entourage into must-watch TV. Seriously, Sunday nights at 10 p.m. He’s insane as Ari. We love it so much we call it the Ari show.

Oct
1

We wanna be like Rachel Z

By the Diva

Ah, if we all had the moxie of Rachel Zoe. Sure, some of her self-absorbed whining gets to us, but she works in Hollywood. Considering who her clients are, and her industry, we could understand. Still, she has this bravado with her employees that says “get your crap together because I’m busy ruling the world.”

If only we could carry ourselves this way in the business world. Such confidence. We can see why she’s rich and sought-after because her vision is super-clear. We wanna be more like Rachel. (But we do think she could use a bit of facial filler, a little Restylane around the nasal folds. She’s thin, but getting droopy. And the docs can totally fix that.)

In other news, Kim Kardashian has been bounced from DWTS. No surprise. She wasn’t the worst dancer but we suspect viewers have Kim fatigue, in that “what is SHE famous for other than being pretty?” She is lovely, yes, but she can’t shake her booty much, given its size and scope.

We’d be lyin’ if we said we can’t wait for the Sarah Palin-Joe Biden debate. Our money is on the sister to do way better than folks (and haters) expect.

xoxo

Sep
29

Paul’s passing and other sad stuff

By the Diva

We were super remiss not mentioning Paul Newman’s death. We knew he’d been ill, but hearing about it certainly stung. Perhaps the one thing that stands out is this: If our Hollywood stars did half as much philanthropic work as Paul — and also followed his lead to eschew Hollywood and an ego-driven life — how much more good could there be in the world? Astronomical potential for changing lives, no?

When much is given, much is expected. Paul’s charitable contributions nearly outshone his acting work and he will be remembered for being good, not just famous.

We admire the way he kept his marriage together, too. No small feat in his business or anyone’s really.

We’ll miss him, but at least we’ve got some yummy salad dressing and sauce.

—————

Well, it’s a sad day on Wall Street, but candidly, we are happy the lawmakers in the House of Representatives said no to this bailout deal. It just enables the same greedy folks to keep on being greedy with no consequences. We know it’s far more complicated than that, but still. Stop throwing money at people who don’t know how to manage it. They deserve to be punished. Crash, burn and rebuild. And watch gas prices go down, down, down.

————

Turning our attention to worthless celeb goo….Is it just us or is that Cheryl Burke from Dancing with the Stars porking out this season. Girl look big! She’s solid, but wider.

That Warren Sapp — amid reports that he’s this year’s on-set diva — is rocking the ballroom hard for a big man. Seriously, we are a dancer and we are shocked at his footwork. Perhaps all those gridiron drills over the years have paid off. His partner is a vixen, too. What a bod!!! They have been outrageous thus far. An unlikely success story.

BTW: We’d love to have host Samantha’s arms. So muscular yet sleek.

———–

Happy Rosh Hashanah, y’all. We could completely dig some matzo ball soup about now.

Sep
24

Dancing and some gay stuff

By the Diva

We loved the second night of Dancing with the Stars. Brooke Burke looked amazing and we love the teenage lovefest that is Julianne Hough and the boy she’s dancing with (where did he come from; he looks like they plucked him from some high school or maybe the Disney lot?) We think Lance Bass is getting hosed by the judges, perhaps being held to a higher standard because he’s a boybander. But Toni Braxton is also a performer and she doesn’t seem to get the same scrutiny. Sometimes, this show lets you see who is NOT cool and also lets you find out who is cool but nobody knows it. Ya know. (Screw the syntax. We’re on a roll.)

So….Clay Aiken is gay. That boy has had a hard row to hoe these last few years, being asked all the time and so publicly about his sexuality. Like it was anyone’s business. That said, no shock. Anyone who thought he was straight is some no-date fatty or some middle-age nutcase cat hoarder, right? Those Claymates will forgive him. Really, they just think he’s talented with great energy. And he is. We’re glad that he did this on his own time and in his own way — which is the way it ought to be for everyone. And so we say Godspeed Clay — and your little munchkin is adorable. He seems like the kind of guy who has the heart to be a great dad.

While we are on the gay thang: NOT BELIEVING FOR ONE SECOND THAT LINDSAY LOHAN IS GAY. We do believe she’s pushing the exploratory envelope with Sam after a tough time in her life. But as for this being some sort of permanent thing: We think not. And we worry that poor Samantha is going to get her feelings hurt badly.

That said, we LOVE Samantha’s music and urge you to get to her myspace account to hear more for yourself. It’s fab. She needs more exposure for that rather than Linds.

In other more personal news: Should we get bangs? Long ones? Maybe some face-scrapers like Sarah Palin? Or are bangs kinda whitetrashy? Hard to say. We’re thinkin.

xoxo

Sep
22

Dancing With the Stars — the new season

By the Diva

Well, now. It’s going to be a fabulous new season. We are excited.

Our initial thoughts:

That Misty chick looks like a man, sorta. That dark make-up is kinda tranny.

Susan Lucci can’t dance or move although she has quite the bod for a woman of 60. If she has a surgeon, could he/she please give up a call. Magnifique.

Kim Kardashian needs to dance with her partner, not herself. Oddly, she never really connected with him. 

Warren Sapp is genius. For a big dude, he can seriously move and entertain. What a personality. We are shocked, shocked.

Lance Bass needs to get back to performing because he radiates joy like few others do. He’s so amazing to watch. We’d be shocked if he wasn’t a finalist. 

Toni Braxton is still gorgeous. Dunno if she’ll win, but it’s great to see her again.

Whaddya think?

Sep
19

Random celebrity goo we’re thinkin’ about

By the Diva

Mariah Carey’s boy-husband looks more like a bodyguard than a spouse, the way he tries to escort her around at events. What a show those two put on! He always looks like he’s waiting on her. We ponder the longevity of this odd (publicity stunt) union.

Cute – and SO diva – that Jennifer Lopez made costume and hair-do changes during her husband’s 40th birthday bash last weekend. What, so one outfit would not do for the entire party?

Shannen Doherty looks super good now that we are seeing more of her with the redux of 90210. No really. We’d like to be catty but we’re happily surprised.

That Miley Cyrus looks like she’s wearing a wig, in real life. We fear she’s on the Jamie Lynn Spears track. Her dad doesn’t look, ummmmm, too strict, shall we say. She seems oddly flip and arrogant for a teenager with some power. Not likeable at all.

That Trista Sutter from The Bachelor/Bachlorette kinda got uglier now that she’s off TV and living in the real world. We liked her, but she’s a lot more suburban frumpy these days. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Is marriage the black hole of pretty? We think probably so.

We think Michael Phelps is a terrific swimmer but not hot. Kinda dorky, but definitely a great athlete.

We think Robert Downey Jr. could use some Juvederm or facial filler. His face is deploding as he gets older. Have ya noticed? He is one of our favorites so we sent this side note with

We would like to try on the Cindy McCain clothes. She has quite the diva closet. World class.

We think this election is the MOST sexist ever. We can’t get over it. We really can’t.

We like Sarah Palin but think those suits of hers look a little too Talbots. She’s petite and all, but we’d like to see her move into dresses a bit. Her personality is so large, she doesn’t need a suit to be forceful, we think. Loving tho, that she loves high heels. She’s rocking them HUGE on the campaign trail.

We wish we could be a fly on the wall at Hillary’s house. We bet she is PISSED that Palin and McCain stole her thunder. Not picking her will totally turn out to be Obama’s biggest regret.

Dancing with the Stars starts next week. We’ll be there. Watch along with us so we can make fun of people.

Copyright © 2008-2010 Diva Driveby | All Rights Reserved