We are so divaliciously busy, we have roots. ROOTS. No time to get to the salon for a quick fix either.

Still, we are delighted to see so many bona fide movie stars on television these days. Harvey Keitel is suitably insane on “Life on Mars.” Still totally crazy after all these years. Christian Slater, another of our favorite insane actors posse members, is back on “My Own Worst Enemy,” which kinda sounds like a biopic for him. Angela Bassett, who is far too good for the small screen, is now a top doc on “ER,” while Selma Blair is giving up the yucks with former-SNL star Molly Shannon on “Kath & Kim,” among many others.

We should be into the new “Desperate Housewives” but we aren’t. It just isn’t hitting us, although we are eager to see a new episode of “Lipstick Jungle,” by far our fave.

We hear Janet Jackson and Madonna may soon be living in Miami. Madge is gonna work on a new record with her former junior collaborator Justin Timberlake. Janet and her boy Jermaine Dupri visit Miami often and dig the area. A host of others make homes there including Missy Elliott and Diddy. We can totally understand the appeal. SOBE is as rockin’ as ever. If you go, visit the Standard Hotel. They have bathtubs on outdoor terraces to their rooms. So sexy, taking a bath outdoors. And the pool atmosphere is unmatched. Very Euro and fun.

We are considering a winter vacation to the Virgin Islands and a stay at Caneel Bay, the resort on St. John. If there is a nicer place, please tell us. Cause this is beyond peaceful and gorgeous in an old-school way.

In other news, it’s not cool to call things “gay” when you think they are bad. This from a new public relations campaign featuring a ton of celebs including Hillary Duff. Memba her?  What does she do for a living? We forgot. And has that Mischa Barton acted at all lately? She is also one of the Young Hollywooders who are kinda career MIA.

We think Hugh Hefner ought to rethink his relationship with Holly. He’s no spring chicken and strangely, we thought she really loved him. We know she wants kids and a marriage. Why does he balk? We think he’s making a huge mistake. Even for him and his playboy reputation, the bimbo parade is kinda tired. Go get her Hef and make her an honest woman before you have a stroke and are in the nursing home. Seriously.

Dear Princesses:

When this whole new financial bailout goes south, remember who voted for it. And vote THEM out of office.

This deal is totally a bad idea in the long run.

All we’re sayin.

That, and we feel superbad for Miss Heather Locklear. Perhaps the psychopharms she got at the rehab are a bad combo cause she wasn’t drunk.

We don’t like Tina Fey. We think she is one smug rhymes with witch. We’d like to see her debate Sarah Palin. Most of those Hollywood types are outed as stupid once they are called on the carpet to defend their views.

We think Lipstick Jungle is off to a fab start and can’t wait to see this week’s episode.

Scarlett Johannson marries at 23. That’ll last.

DJ AM and Travis Barker seemed to be getting along much better. AM has returned to LA and Travis should be out in a coupla weeks. That is great news. 

We love the elle.com/astrology horoscopes. You should check em out.

We bought galpal Jill a purple pumpkin for Halloween but she doesn’t know it yet. We got some dark chocolate M&Ms, too. We love Halloween and plan to wear our tiara (natch) and pass out candy. When little kids ask us ‘what are you?’ we say what we always say, even when it isn’t Halloween: A princess.

AS IF

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