Nov
11

Bi-Lo, “colored” — we are getting confused

By the Diva

So, she’s not a lesbian, she could be bi, she doesn’t know if she’ll end up marrying a chick or a dude. It must be tough to be in love with Lindsay Lohan and her, er….lack of clarity. In her past, she’s seemed awfully clear before, ahem…. WAY CLEAR. And then goes and calls a black person “colored.”  Is any of this ok? And is she pissing away her career, or at least what is left of it?  What we fear is poor Samantha Ronson is gonna get her heart broken, and she seems to be really nice and supportive, too. Linds says she loves Sam. But she didn’t say “in love.” We worry.

Speaking of out of the limelight, what has happened to Hillary Duff and Mischa Barton? All but disappeared. Speaking of….. Marie Osmond is keeping the weight off nicely after “Dancing With the Stars.” Perhaps it’s for the diet commercials, but still. She looks good.

One of our galpals went to a Madonna concert and came back to report that our queen was turning into Cher. AS IF. Perhaps Madge is getting a tad too old for the camp. She looks good, but is it authentic. We were super letdown that Justin and Britney didn’t perform together at her show. We’d love to see these two rekindle it, even if it was only on stage.

We were RIGHT. Mrs. Obama’s dress at the White House was Maria Pinto.

“Confessions of a Shop-a-holic,” coming soon to a theater near you. We cannot stand it. This is nearly biographical. Speaking of movies, we love Reese Witherspoon, but the new flick she’s in with Vince Vaughn is kind of a splurge for a girl who can really act, no? Vince always plays himself, it seems. Every role, he’s Vince Vaughn. Funny, tho. We think he’s great, but a one-note actor.

We’re superglad Jennifer Aniston is speaking out about Angie and Brad. She needs to tell the truth. We think she wasn’t treated right at all and we’re still pissed. We’d like her to spill it all — we bet Brad wouldn’t emerge as the do-gooder folks think he is now.

Oct
20

RIP: Mr. Blackwell

By the Diva

One of our favorite queens — not a queen like Madonna, but you know what we mean — has passed on to that great atelier/runway in the sky.

Mr. Blackwell was 86. And that’s like 250 in fashion years. We will miss his vicious fashion discourse and worst-dressed commentary. He was usually spot-on. Mean, but spot-on.

He was iconic. And isn’t that what we all strive to be.

Of course it is.

Oct
20

Madge may settle and it’s a good thing

By the Diva

We are hearing that our queen, Madonna, may offer hubbie Guy a $60 million settlement to let it all go away quietly. Given the publicity, we think it’s a good thing. It’s a sum she won’t miss.

Now, she can move to New York and pick up with A-Rod. Cause ya know that’s gonna happen. Stay tuned.

Oct
17

Sickened by the election, we turn to fashion (whew)

By the Diva

You know whose style we love. Kate Middleton, Prince William’s English rose slampiece. She gets it right a lot. So naturally pretty and real looking. We bet he closes this deal. We hope so. We can’t wait to watch the wedding. Those royals still know how to throw a party.

There is a cool story about her in this month’s Vanity Fair. That mag lost us for a time but we are squarely back and loving it. You should check it out.

Travis Barker is out of the burn unit and home. We hope he continues to heal on all levels. We wish he and Shanna could reunite. We are nothing if not a romantic. Bahahahahahahaaaaaa.

If Jen Aniston hooks up again with John Mayer she has poor judgment. Mayer is a 30-something boy and we aren’t impressed. All we’re sayin’…..

We thought Obama and McCain were truly funny at the Al Smith hoopty dinner last nite in New York. Have ya seen the video? McCain made Hillary laugh really hard. Now that’s something. Watch em.

We probably will see the film “W.” Even though we are not a Bush-hater like most everyone.

Let us start the countdown clock now on Madonna and A-Rod and their first public appearance. After the legal eagles have carved up her fortune and the kiddies.

Man, if Brangelina split, that would be one fearsome custody battle, no?

Maureen Orth is the best journalist working, to our mind.

Martha Stewart has a brindled French bulldog named Francesca Blackbird, which is the sweetest name ever. He’s in Vanity Fair, too.

We are starting to think you get better service and treatment on Greyhound versus any airline. The help is pathetic. No wonder they are all falling into bankruptcy.

Oct
15

Verklempt: Our queen, Madonna, is divorcing

By the Diva

Oy, Madge……so it didn’t work out. We’re not surprised. Not many men in this world can live up to your creative force. Yes, you’re tough, but you’re also fab. We figured this would happen eventually. Guy Ritchie’s star is falling, you keep reinventing yourself to international acclaim. He’s baggage. You need to pick another cute guy to live with but bag the whole marriage crap. You need companionship but without all the heartache.

Hold onto the money, sister. You need Sir Paul McCartney’s attorney. A serious fortune is at stake and you need to protect yourself if this turns nasty.

We hope you are ok. We’ll have to take a little down time to cope. We’ll also need an adult beverage straightaway. First you announce your split. And then Nancy Reagan is hospitalized. It’s been a dark diva day.

Oct
10

Too busy for TV — how is this possible, you ask?

By the Diva

We are so divaliciously busy, we have roots. ROOTS. No time to get to the salon for a quick fix either.

Still, we are delighted to see so many bona fide movie stars on television these days. Harvey Keitel is suitably insane on “Life on Mars.” Still totally crazy after all these years. Christian Slater, another of our favorite insane actors posse members, is back on “My Own Worst Enemy,” which kinda sounds like a biopic for him. Angela Bassett, who is far too good for the small screen, is now a top doc on “ER,” while Selma Blair is giving up the yucks with former-SNL star Molly Shannon on “Kath & Kim,” among many others.

We should be into the new “Desperate Housewives” but we aren’t. It just isn’t hitting us, although we are eager to see a new episode of “Lipstick Jungle,” by far our fave.

We hear Janet Jackson and Madonna may soon be living in Miami. Madge is gonna work on a new record with her former junior collaborator Justin Timberlake. Janet and her boy Jermaine Dupri visit Miami often and dig the area. A host of others make homes there including Missy Elliott and Diddy. We can totally understand the appeal. SOBE is as rockin’ as ever. If you go, visit the Standard Hotel. They have bathtubs on outdoor terraces to their rooms. So sexy, taking a bath outdoors. And the pool atmosphere is unmatched. Very Euro and fun.

We are considering a winter vacation to the Virgin Islands and a stay at Caneel Bay, the resort on St. John. If there is a nicer place, please tell us. Cause this is beyond peaceful and gorgeous in an old-school way.

In other news, it’s not cool to call things “gay” when you think they are bad. This from a new public relations campaign featuring a ton of celebs including Hillary Duff. Memba her?  What does she do for a living? We forgot. And has that Mischa Barton acted at all lately? She is also one of the Young Hollywooders who are kinda career MIA.

We think Hugh Hefner ought to rethink his relationship with Holly. He’s no spring chicken and strangely, we thought she really loved him. We know she wants kids and a marriage. Why does he balk? We think he’s making a huge mistake. Even for him and his playboy reputation, the bimbo parade is kinda tired. Go get her Hef and make her an honest woman before you have a stroke and are in the nursing home. Seriously.

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